How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
