I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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