We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
