I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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