You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
