you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
