Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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