i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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