Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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