I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
