we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
