Sponge bath it is.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
