I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
