Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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