As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
