You made me cry and you don't even care
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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