Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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