rhymes with "ouble enetration"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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