I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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