When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
