Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
