i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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