i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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