Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
