Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize