I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
