Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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