I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
