shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
