Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize