God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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