Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
