I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
