It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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