Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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