It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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