I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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