White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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