70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
