I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I will pee on everything he values.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My penis needs a shock collar
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
