Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
