Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
