I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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