you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
