He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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