He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
