I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
