Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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