She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
