trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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