Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
