im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
