i just wanna soil my oats bro
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just pee around me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
