He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
