Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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