I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
