I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she peed on how many people?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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