It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I can't turn off my feet"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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