I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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