if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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