Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
